The Bee Gees: Immortal To Me

I'm sure you've all heard by now that Robin Gibb of the Bee Gees passed away recently after a battle with cancer. All very tragic indeed, but I'm not going to talk about how this is such a loss to the world of music- we all know it is, the fact is obvious and does not need to be re-stated. Instead, I'm taking this opportunity to go all sentimental about the memories that the group's songs hold for me..

My grandparents have always loved the Bee Gees. Ever since I was about six years old, I can remember strains of 'Massachusetts' filtering through the house, those high-pitched vocals slightly sharp on a young ear, but never to be forgotten. I didn't understand the song, but eventually I started singing along anyway. I think I provided some fun family entertainment with my performances of 'Got To Get A Message To You'.

Fast forward a good few years, I'm a teenager, and the Bee Gees audio tape has been replaced by a DVD. They're still a firm favourite in my grandparents' house, so I hear them every weekend. I'm in that rebellious stage of adolescence during which I have to pretend that the commercial rubbish on the radio is better than anything my 60-something grandparents have on offer, but in truth I know that it's not. 'Immortality' is the song that sticks out now - although it will still be several years before I embrace it and truly understand it. And now - eight years later- this is the song that holds so many damn memories. It's an embodiment of everything that was good about that year. It's low-budget horror movies on a Friday night, it's chocolate, followed by chocolate cake, followed by chocolate mousse, it's pancakes from the flea market on a Saturday morning, it's that quick trip to the shops on a Saturday afternoon, it's endless cups of tea, it's the walk to feed the stray cats. It's everything that goes on still, even though I am no longer a part of it. It's Immortality.

I guess what I'm saying is embrace every moment, embrace every song. For all too soon you'll find yourself bopping on the dancefloor to 'Party Rockers', after a vodka-fueled binge, and you'll be happy, because life will be great - so much greater than it was when you were a teenager. And although you'll know it's over and that it can never happen again, there will be times when all you'll wish is that you were back in your grandparents' living room, stroking the cat you'd had since you were four, and listening to the Bee Gees.

The Wailers Live at Trinity Cape Town

There was only one reason that a self-confessed uncool kid such as myself would have been found at Trinity Night Club on a Friday evening: a band. So who was it this time? The Parlotones? CrashCarBurn? Perhaps someone had dragged me along – kicking and screaming – to see Zebra & Giraffe? But not, it was not any kind of rock/alternative band at all – it was The Wailers performing in aid of charity RhinoProtect. Yes, as in Bob Marley and The Wailers, just minus Bob Marley. Now, I’m all about frilly pink dresses and high heels, and I don’t have a single rasta/hippie bone in my body, so what exactly was I doing here?  Read back a few sentences, I implore thee… it was the damn Wailers, for goodness sake! Now I hate to quote Lost (jokes, I love to quote Lost), but who doesn’t like Bob Marley?! I don’t care who you are, don’t even pretend that you haven’t jammed to ‘Jammin'’ or swayed back and forth to ‘One Love’. The Wailers were guaranteed to put on an amazing performance, plus the fact that reggae’s not for cheerleaders meant that I’d be spared the horrors of having to deal with Cool Kids all night.

Opening acts Fox Comet and The Rudimentals put on a pretty impressive performance themselves. Not my usual cup of tea, I couldn’t help but be entertained by The Rudimentals, an eclectic group composed of a couple of rappers, a hat-wearing, beard-sporting guitarist, a couple of sax players straight out of a 1940’s jazz band, and a few other assorted members. I wasn’t really following the lyrics – was the guy even singing, or was he rapping? – but it was cool anyway.

The Wailers took to the stage late in the night, and by then I was thoroughly regretting my choice in footwear: what was I thinking wearing high heeled boots? (I tell you what I was thinking, I was thinking that it was hell of a cold outside). My friends discarded their shoes, but I wasn’t that brave – I was wearing socks adorned with cat’s faces, and yes, I do still have some pride left. But anyway, The Wailers…

…were awesome. After an instrumental intro, I was left wondering if I had the complete wrong end of the stick here – perhaps I was not going to hear all my favourite reggae songs…after all, Bob was their singer right, and he’s kinda, well, dead. But I should not have feared, for the second song had lyrics alright! Belted out by a couple of dreadlocked Rastas, the music made me feel as though as I was on some beach in the Caribbean, rather than in a dimly-lit nightclub in Cape Town. When they spoke in those fantastic Jamaican accents, I could barely understand a word they were saying – something about Africa perhaps? Cape Town? Rhinos? – but as far as I’m concerned they could have kept talking all night.

Sure enough, some Bob favourites soon followed, ‘I Shot The Sheriff”, “Get Up, Stand Up”, ‘Jammin’” …it was impossible not to love the performance! I couldn’t believe my luck when the first song of the encore turned out to the ‘Redemption Song’, one of my absolute favourites. It was a peaceful, slow version of the song, performed only by the lead singer and guitarist, and it was beautiful. The crowd joined in enthusiastically “won’t you help to sing these songs of freedom/ coz all I ever had/ redemption songs”.

The band are possessed of an infectious stage presence, constantly interacting, and leaving the crowd always wanting more. They fist-pumped, ran in place on stage, and headbanged those dreadlocks all over the place, and I wondered how they weren’t completely exhausted by the time the show ended.

In my opinion, they were the perfect choice of band to perform in aid of a charity such as RhinoProtect. The Wailers are all about peace, love and unity, things we could all do with a little more of. I left the show feeling calm, renewed and ready to celebrate life…of course, all that calmness may simply have been the result of breathing in the second-hand fumes of some substances that weren’t strictly legal… 

MUSIC THEN AND NOW: A LYRICAL ANALYSIS

It’s no secret that I’m a fan of oldies music…play me something from the ‘40s or ‘50s and I’ll be in my happy place. I know it’s not normal for someone my age, but before you tell me that the cure is a healthy dose of David Guetta, stop to think for a second about what he’s actually singing about. There’s no question about the fact that lyrics have deteriorated hugely over the past few decades. Yes, there are still people who manage to write great things, but these are few and far between: “Is there still magic in the midnight sun, or did you leave it back in ’61, in the cadence of a young man’s eyes…”; “I lit a fire that wouldn’t go out, until it consumed the walls and roof of this house, until all I remember was burning away…”; “So lying underneath those stormy skies, she said ‘oooh, I know the sun must set to rise’ “. But on the whole, commercial music nowadays lacks greatly in the lyrical department. Don’t believe me? Please see my examples below:

Missing someone:

Then: “Each day I pray for evening just to be with you, together at last at twilight time.” (The Platters, Twilight Time)

Now: “Girl you know I miss ya, I just wanna kiss ya but I can’t right now so baby kiss me thru da fone.” (Soulja Boy, Kiss Me Thru The Phone)

Heartbreak:

Then: “Why does the sun go on shining, why does the sea rush to shore, don't they know it's the end of the world, cause you don't love me anymore.” (The Carpenters - covered by everyone else- The End of the World)

Now: “I was like baby, baby, baby, ooooh, like baby, baby baby, oooh, like baby, baby, baby, oooh, I thought you’d always be mine.” (Justin Bieber, Baby)

Looking for love…:

Then: “Each morning I get up I die a little, can barely stand on my feet, take a look in the mirror and cry…can anybody find me somebody to love.” (Queen, Somebody To Love)

Now: “Where dem girls at, whoooohoooo” (David Guetta, Where Dem Girls At)

Lack of money:

Then: “So how can you tell me you’re lonely, and say for you that the sun doesn’t shine, oh let me take you by the hand and lead you through the streets of London, I’ll show you something to make you change your mind.” (Roger Whitaker, Streets of London)

Now: “I need a dollar, dollar, dollar is what I need.” (Aloe Blacc, I Need A Dollar)

Falling for someone:

Then: “Love is a burning thing, and it makes a fiery ring, bound by wild desire, I fell into a ring of fire.” (Johnny Cash, Ring of Fire)

Now: “You spin my head right round, right round, when you go down, when you go down down.” (Flo-Rida, Right Round)

Partying:

Then: “The warden threw a party in the county jail, the prison band was there and they began to wail, the band was jumpin' and the joint began to swing, you should've heard them knocked-out jailbirds sing.” (Elvis, Jailhouse Rock)

Now: “It’s Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday.” (Rebecca Black, Friday)

Gambling analogies:
Then: "You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run, you never count your money when you're sitting at the table, there'll be time enough for counting when the dealing's done." (Kenny Rogers - The Gambler)
Now: "Shut up and put your money where your mouth is." (Katy Perry - Waking Up In Vegas)

Drinking:

Then: “Well, I woke up Sunday morning, with no way to hold my head that didn't hurt. And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, so I had one more for dessert.” (Kris Kristofferson, Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down)
Now: “I got a hangover, whoa, I been drinkin’ too much fo’ sho…” (Flo-Rida, Hangover)

OK, let’s forget about that last one, clearly not much change there…

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with the more recent songs - or, by extension, people who like them- I'm just saying that the differences in lyrics are worth consideration next time someone rolls their eyes at me for getting excited when I hear Johnny Cash. 

Relationships Based On Music Taste: Yay or Nay?

They say that the basis for a good relationship is common interests. A guy who likes to surf would be perfect for a girl who likes to surf, because then they could talk about surfing every time an awkward silence cropped up. Now extend this idea a little, and I’m sure you’ll agree with me that a Coldplay*-lover such as myself could never date a guy who likes Avicci*. A guy who liked Avicci would never understand my love of Coldplay etc, and seeing 90% of my interests lie in music, that would be a problem. I’ve spoken before about music and the search for popularity, blah blah blah, how popular kids don’t like Coldplay, whatever. And it’s true, cool kids don’t like Coldplay, cool kids like Avicci. I like Coldplay, and therefore I’m not cool. Anyway, coolness aside, it would make sense then for me to date another Coldplay fan, right? WRONG.

Now I don’t want to launch into the whole story…oh who am I kidding, I totally do. Upon seeing one of my best friends for the first time in two months, she had barely greeted me when she started babbling on about some guy I simply had to meet. “He likes Coldplay too, you’re perfect for each other!” In the end, we weren't, but hey. It was no one’s fault, and no hard feelings, but hmmph, there went the fantastic idea of dating a fellow Coldplay fan.

The experience made me realize that a mutual love of Coldplay is not enough to unite two people. Yeah, it’s great to be able to discuss the new Coldplay single when an Awkward Silence arises, but the fact that such silences even exist makes the whole thing a little redundant, doesn’t it? Let me explain. Say I love Coldplay and my boyfriend doesn’t… so what?! He should still be willing to listen to me go on about them just as much as I want! If he won’t do that, why the Hell am I even dating him in the first place?

I still don’t think I could date a guy who listens to Avicci and David Guetta thought. Music taste is a reflection of who we are as people, and although 99% of my friends are the cool kids who listen to that kind of dance music, I maintain that I am not one of them. So if my future boyfriend likes Nirvana, and I’d rather listen to The Killers, then so be it. As long as he’s not nursing a Flo-Rida-style hangover every Saturday morning, I’m happy.

*Coldplay is simply an example of ‘un-cool’ music, everything alternative or rock, in other words. Avicci is an example of all the ‘cool kid’ mainstream popular dance music. 

The Parlotones: Cold, Wet, Awesome.

I had seen The Parlotones on various wine farms, in a stadium, in an arena, in a tent, and in 3D, but never in a setting quite like that of the final Kirstenbosch Summer Concert of the season. On 8 April, the rain was pouring down, and Cape Town’s die-hard Parlotones fans were attempting to stay dry under trees, umbrellas, and plastic bags. They could have sacrificed the price of their tickets, headed for their warm, dry cars and gone home, but no one did.

The rain took a break for the set of opening band, the Ice Project. The Pretoria-based band impressed me from the start, beginning with their neat attire of shirts, waistcoats and suspenders. This indie band were definitely appropriate openers for The Parlotones, and although I struggled to hear all of frontman Cobus Bester’s vocals, the songs were catchy and enjoyable, with the definite highlight being ‘Rollercoaster’ their most well-known song, having received recognition on the MK channel.

But those who had already folded up their umbrellas were in for a surprise as soon as the main act arrived on stage. Opening with ‘Stars Fall Down’, The Parlotones soon had much of the crowd on their feet, and the band’s enthusiasm was definitely not affected by the miserable weather.

Never a band to stick to writing songs on one topic, the deep ‘Remember When’ had everyone contemplating the idea of growing up and leaving the safe childhood world of imagination, whilst the sickly sweet ‘I’ll Be There’ had even the most anti-love audience members proclaiming that “Even if you’re rich, even if you’re poor, every breath you breathe I’ll be there for you.”

“This song is a bit of a talisman for the bad weather.” Said Kahn Morbee at one stage, resulting in an immediate shout of “Sun Comes Out!” from one excited audience member. These guys sure do have fans! Indeed, there was something magically ironic about this song being performed in the pouring rain.

Some new songs were in store for the lucky audience, including the explosive ‘Soul and Body’, and the – dare I say it – slightly country-inspired ‘Honey’. The new songs are less pop-ish, they’re slightly darker, and they sound fantastic. ‘Save Your Best Bits’ is one of those songs that you can hear once and feel like you’ve known it forever, it is without a doubt The Parlotones’ next big hit.

The only issues were a few missed lyrics and some heavy feedback on the bass, which was sorted out almost immediately, on the whole, however, the band were flawless. After a 90 minute set – during which the grass field at Kirstenbosch had turned into a pool of mud – The Parlotones concluded with the massive ‘Push Me To The Floor’, and left their 5000 soaking wet fans full of anticipation for the release of their new album. 

An adapted version of this article appears on www.whatsonincapetown.com.

United Kingdom, Here I Come!

On a Sunday night in late February, I found myself awake at 11pm. This in itself was highly abnormal, and even more so was the fact that I was at home in my bedroom, forcibly stopping myself from falling into the divine world of slumber. Why on Earth was I doing this? Well, the time had finally come to the V Festival 2012 line up to be announced, and a sneaky rumour was doing the rounds on the internet, proclaiming that my favourite boys in the world, The Killers, would be headlining the show. No, surely not! I’d made myself a promise over two years ago that I would be at their first show when they came back from hiatus. Unfortunately, annoying things like university had gotten in the way last year, and this was the first time that the opportunity was to present itself at a time when I was actually able to go! Oooh!

So, when the announcement came that they really were going to headline, I expressed about as much enthusiasm as I could for the time of night: I bbm-ed my roommate so that this news was the first thing she’s see in the morning, then fell asleep with echoes of “LONDOOOOOOOON” pounding through my tired brain.

A few days later, all of my ideas were in place. Everything was in perfect order in my head, and now all I had to do was acquire the festival tickets, the flights and the accommodation, and I’d be on my way in a few short months!

Tickets were to go on sale at 12pm my time, and thus from 11.15am, I had found myself refreshing ticketmaster.co.uk’s website at least every couple of seconds, just in case tickets came on sale early. The V Festival website was also open, as was twitter, so that I could proceed to freak out with my fellow Victims.  I was only slightly nervous, still thinking that the entire thing was a ridiculous idea, or that my mother’s agreement to it was going to turn out to be some hugely twisted prank.  But eventually, the ticket sales opened, and I entered my information with shaking fingers. The timer at the bottom of the page, counting down to the expiry of my tickets was not helping my nerves at all. I entered the credit card number incorrectly three times, before realizing my mistake, and clicking on ‘proceed’ exactly as the offer expired. Fail. By now it was a couple of minutes into ticket sales, and the website was completely flooded with other people feeling just like I was. Now I had to wait over ten minutes to try again, during which time my mind was in complete mental shutdown. What if this was my last chance to see them again? What if they didn’t return to SA on their tour, and what if I couldn’t make any of the other shows? What if, what if, what if…

By the time I was able to try again, I got an error message saying that tickets were sold out. “Try again” said my Victims friends. I tried again. Still sold out. Again. Sold out. I gave up.

Eventually realizing that perhaps the other venue was not sold out, I gave that one a try. An extremely stressful five or so minutes later, I’d successfully entered the credit card details and pressed ‘proceed’ on tickets for the second performance. After printing out my receipt, I still was not convinced that I’d actually gotten the tickets. I screamed down the phone to my mom, but it still had not hit me properly. Neither had the fact that I was also to see Snow Patrol, whom I had been wanting to see live since 2009!

I still don’t think it has quite sunk it. I’m seeing The Killers. I’m seeing Snow Patrol. I’m going to England. Bring on August! 

Taxi Violence and Machineri at Kirstenbosch

Enthralled by the beauty of Cape Town and amazed by the talent of local artists: not a bad way to spend a Sunday afternoon. I arrive at Kirstenbosch National Botanical Gardens at around 4pm on Sunday the 19^th of February, armed with a Hello Kitty picnic blanket and a chocolate Steri Stumpie… taking life seriously, wasn’t I? Although slightly worried that the Hardcore Rock Fans might judge me, I soon find out that this is not the case at all. The atmosphere amongst the couple of thousand people gathered on the lawns in the Botanical Gardens is nothing if not completely relaxed.

The sun is still high in the sky, and the temperature at least 5000^oC when three-piece band Machineri takes to the stage. Composed of guitarist and lead vocalist Sannie Fox, guitarist Andre Geldenhuys and drummer Daniel Huxham, the band’s sound is pure blues-rock…well, as pure as such a mixed genre can be. Their guitar riffs and Fox’s vocals scream ‘blues’, whilst the drums bring in the rock elements which result in the band often being considered rock. Fox’s voice stays strong the entire set, and their catchy tunes have many in the crowd bopping their heads in time to the music. Some energy is injected into the band’s somewhat low-key performance when they are joined on stage by vocalist Inge Beckmann, who air-guitars her way through an upbeat number.

Taxi Violence appear on stage just as the sun begins to sink behind the mountain. “We’re Taxi Violence, and you’re here to see us, give yourself a round of applause”, frontman George van der Spuy jokes good-naturedly, before launching into “I Went Down to the River”, accompanied by Inge Beckmann, as well as the shouts of some very excited audience members. The band’s talent is immediately evident, and by the second song, “Devil ‘n’ Pistol”, most of the audience is tapping their feet, clapping, and resisting the potent urge to head bang. This is also my personal favourite of the set, I love the lyrics which incorporate some blues and country themes. Van de Spuy continues to engage with the audience throughout the set, cracking jokes, and telling us the stories behind some of the songs. I think that this makes all the difference in the world, the constant banter makes the crowd feel connected to the band, they just seem so friendly and genuinely likeable. I am also unable to fault them performance-wise, they switch effortlessly between the country-infused “Between the Heavens and the Deep Blue Sea” and the pure rock of “The Turn”. They also perform their first hit, “Untie Yourself” - during which the cello and keyboards are positively haunting – and throw in a cover of traditional folk song “God’s Gonna Cut You Down” for good measure (much to the distaste of the very grumpy and very vocal man behind me). It’s not often that I discover a band live, but despite never having consciously listened to Taxi Violence before, I felt myself hoping that they’d come back for an encore after the show. I truly think that this one performance has turned me into a fan. It’s very difficult to compare this band to anyone else, or describe who they sound like, because, well, they sound like themselves. George van der Spuy along with guitarist Rian Zietsman, bassist Jason Ling, and drummer Louis Nel make up extremely talented rock band.

As I leave the venue, I’m left wondering why more concerts aren’t outdoors. I can think of no better way to spend an afternoon than surrounded by picturesque scenery, good vibes and true talent.

If Real Life Was High School...

Ah, high school. Gone, but not forgotten, I’m afraid. It can be said that high school is a kind of trial-run for the Real World, and that the same stereotypes assigned to teenagers carry on throughout the rest of life. Now, we all idolize our favourite band members, but if real life was high school, just where would they all fit in? No matter how awesome everyone from Brandon Flowers to Nathan Followill seem, I’m certain that they don’t all sit atop life’s ‘cool’ pile. So where would our favourite band boys fit in, if real life was high school?

Chris Martin: he’s a nice guy, good-natured, cares about stuff like making trade fair, and likes to sing. Nerd alert or what? There’s no way that the footballers would allow Chris at their table in the cafeteria. He’s the sweetheart that all the girls would adore as a friend, but at whom the jocks would look down their noses. Don’t underestimate him, though; one look into those blue eyes, and even the cheerleaders would be swooning.

Adam Levine: Whilst also not the footballer type, Adam would definitely be a popular kid. Not wanting to take part in any violent sport for fear of harming his good looks, Adam would spend his time clowning around in the back of the class, while miraculously still getting good grades and never being in trouble. His secret? Flashing that winning smile at Life’s teachers would never fail to get him out of any pickle.

Nathan Followill: Ah, here we go: the jock. Nathan’s effortless Coolness would ensure that he was constantly surrounded by a gang of admirers. Never shy to speak his mind, anyone who annoyed Nathan would be met with a typically scathing comment (let’s hope Glee creator Ryan Murphy wasn’t the principle, or fist fights may ensue). Causes of frequent stints in detention would most likely be bringing beer to school, or attempting to engage staff and students in golf tournaments during lessons.

Jared Followill: Let’s just say that this boy’s Tough Guy act isn’t fooling me. While he may slam lesser humans against lockers and demand their lunch money, he’s likely to shove it back into his victim’s pocket when they’re not looking. Never missing an opportunity for a photograph, Jared will pout and fluff his hair in front of the mirror for hours, but when he says he has a hot date with a cheerleader, you’d probably just find him at home on the couch with his mom.

Brandon Flowers: the sparkly outfits, the feathers, and the Vegas obsession would make Bran head of the Glee club. He’d be brilliant at anything he did, and wouldn’t be afraid to let everyone know it. Uninterested in the goings-on of the Cool crowd, Brandon would spend his break times writing songs, and gluing feathers to his school uniform.

(Credit for the idea for this story goes to Nerissa Naidoo)

Guilty Pleasures: We All Have Them!

Admit it; we all have guilty pleasures when it comes to music. Whether you’re the cheerleader, dance music-obsessed girl with a secret stash of MCR albums, or the hardcore metal dude with a closet love for Mika, everyone has some dirty little music secrets that we’d rather people not know about. Now, I’m usually a rock/alternative child, but oh well, at risk of throwing myself to the sharks, I’m going to reveal my top 5 musical guilty pleasures.

5) ABBA- I’m sure I’m not alone in this one. Yes, I know all the words to “Fernando”, and yes, I’ve been known to sing it in my head when someone mentions the name in general conversation. Yes, I’ve danced around my room to “Dancing Queen”, and yes, I’ve attracted some odd stares when singing along to “Mama Mia” in public. So what?

4) American Country- I don’t just mean normal country, I mean Alan Jackson, Carlene Carter and who knows who else singing songs along the lines of “Hillbilly Rock, Hillbilly Roll” and “Dancin’ With Elvis”. I happen to have an entire album full of these gems, and I’m yet to meet someone who doesn’t think they’re catchy, at the very least. All together now “Up on the mountain, way outta town, it’s Saturday night and the folks gather round…”

3) Katy Perry- Most people adore Katy, but most people aren’t me. ‘The One That Got Away’, for example, is the very type of song that would usually result in me pretending to gag before turning the radio off. However, it happens to be one of my very favourite songs. You can psycho-analyse me all you want at this point, but in reality it’s simply because it’s an adorable song. I love Katy, the end.

2) Taylor Swift- Shock, horror! This sweet-as-sugar little country-pop darling is one of my favourite artists at the moment. I don’t care that she only sings about heartbreak and men, she’s a decent girl and a breath of fresh air in a music industry filled with rappers and popstars singing about taking each other’s clothes off. Every once in a while, I enjoy a break from the serious music that I usually listen to and Taylor’s cute lyrics provide exactly that.

1) Westlife- I know, I know, its boyband pop at its cheesiest, but I can’t deny My Love for Westlife. Whether I want to cry my eyes out over how much I miss my childhood, cheer myself up when I’m sad, or simply kill time on a road trip, Westlife are my go-to guys. Their songs are ingrained in my head from years upon years of singing along, and I struggle to find a childhood memory without a Westlife song attached to it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to listen to the Coast To Coast album and think about the good old days…

Do you have any guilty pleasures when it comes to music? 

Musical Taste And The Eternal Search For Popularity

[I mean absolutely no offence to Cool Kids or Popular Kids, two of my best friends are stereotypical Cool Kids, and 99% of the time, I wish I was one of them. Bro, I don’t care if you listen to Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake or Justin Bieber, I’m simply wondering why liking Coldplay makes me uncool.]

Be it consciously or unconsciously, we all crave popularity. No matter how old you are, don’t even try to pretend that you don’t wish you were the person that everyone else wanted to be. The cheerleader, the footballer- the Cool Kid. Like it or not, taste in music plays a part in popularity.

I’m not a cool kid, I never have been, and I’m under no illusions that I ever will be. I’m a concert kid, a music kid, basically, I’m a fangirl, and that’s not cool at all. Whilst normal people my age listen to the likes of Usher, Enrique and Lady Gaga, I’m perfectly happy to exist on a diet of indie rock, alternative rock, and normal rock- that is, of course, until I crack out my collection of oldies and country, but we won’t talk about that…

It probably all started when I was about nine. I don’t even know what Cool Kids my age listened to in the late 90’s, but I’m willing to bet that it was Britney, The Spice Girls and TLC, as opposed to my favourites, which included Savage Garden. I mean really now, what kind of nine-year-old is into rock bands?

But back to Cool Kids. Cool Kids simply adore dance music, but why? Why is it that liking Pitbull is cool, but liking Muse is odd? What is it that separates the two? My own humble opinion is that I’ve already answered my own question: it’s because Pitbull makes dance music. Cool Kids are always at clubs- dancing- and their lives could basically be summed up by any number of popular dance songs on the radio. They can associate with lyrics such as “hey baby, you look so good on the dance floor, baby, you’re amazing, on the dance floor baby, let’s dance baby, take your clothes off baby”, because that is what a Cool Guy says to a Cool Girl! Ha! I’ve figured it out! And the reason that un-cool people don’t like dance music is because we can’t relate to the lyrics…no guy has ever asked me to take my clothes off on the dance floor, baby!

There are exceptions, however, and I can think of one in particular. I met a girl, about four years ago, who is undoubtedly a Cool Kid. So much so, that on first impressions, I thought she’d never be friends with me. However, she has impeccable music taste: she loves Death Cab For Cutie and 1940’s jazz music, no one judges her for her it!

I am almost certain that I exist in a constant state of being judged. People ask what kind of music I listen to, and as soon as I tell them that my favourite bands are Coldplay and The Killers, I can almost feel them deciding that I’m not cool. Perhaps before answering, I should make a judgment call as to the popularity of the person asking, and if the person is a Cool Kid, I should answer “David Guetta, bro, he’s legit”. The day before I saw Coldplay live, I bounced into my lecture, squealing with excitement. My classmates’ reactions ranged from ‘I hate Coldplay’ to ‘Coldplay are terrible’ to ‘they make me feel like killing myself’. I’m not going to lie, my feelings were slightly hurt. If I had been a Cool Kid, excitemed about seeing Deadmau5, for example, they would have most likely jumped up and down squealing with me.

Whilst considering my favourite bands, I must acknowledge that even some Cool Kids were jealous that I went to see Kings of Leon live. Upon a quick Facebook creep, I find out that over 70 of my Facebook friends ‘like’ Kings of Leon…and some of these 70 are Cool Kids! However, I am soon able to deduce that Cool Kids don’t actually like Kings of Leon- Cool Kids like Sex On Fire. Sigh, there go my last hopes of ever being cool…