If Real Life Was High School...

Ah, high school. Gone, but not forgotten, I’m afraid. It can be said that high school is a kind of trial-run for the Real World, and that the same stereotypes assigned to teenagers carry on throughout the rest of life. Now, we all idolize our favourite band members, but if real life was high school, just where would they all fit in? No matter how awesome everyone from Brandon Flowers to Nathan Followill seem, I’m certain that they don’t all sit atop life’s ‘cool’ pile. So where would our favourite band boys fit in, if real life was high school?

Chris Martin: he’s a nice guy, good-natured, cares about stuff like making trade fair, and likes to sing. Nerd alert or what? There’s no way that the footballers would allow Chris at their table in the cafeteria. He’s the sweetheart that all the girls would adore as a friend, but at whom the jocks would look down their noses. Don’t underestimate him, though; one look into those blue eyes, and even the cheerleaders would be swooning.

Adam Levine: Whilst also not the footballer type, Adam would definitely be a popular kid. Not wanting to take part in any violent sport for fear of harming his good looks, Adam would spend his time clowning around in the back of the class, while miraculously still getting good grades and never being in trouble. His secret? Flashing that winning smile at Life’s teachers would never fail to get him out of any pickle.

Nathan Followill: Ah, here we go: the jock. Nathan’s effortless Coolness would ensure that he was constantly surrounded by a gang of admirers. Never shy to speak his mind, anyone who annoyed Nathan would be met with a typically scathing comment (let’s hope Glee creator Ryan Murphy wasn’t the principle, or fist fights may ensue). Causes of frequent stints in detention would most likely be bringing beer to school, or attempting to engage staff and students in golf tournaments during lessons.

Jared Followill: Let’s just say that this boy’s Tough Guy act isn’t fooling me. While he may slam lesser humans against lockers and demand their lunch money, he’s likely to shove it back into his victim’s pocket when they’re not looking. Never missing an opportunity for a photograph, Jared will pout and fluff his hair in front of the mirror for hours, but when he says he has a hot date with a cheerleader, you’d probably just find him at home on the couch with his mom.

Brandon Flowers: the sparkly outfits, the feathers, and the Vegas obsession would make Bran head of the Glee club. He’d be brilliant at anything he did, and wouldn’t be afraid to let everyone know it. Uninterested in the goings-on of the Cool crowd, Brandon would spend his break times writing songs, and gluing feathers to his school uniform.

(Credit for the idea for this story goes to Nerissa Naidoo)